Afghan Mules

Why Afghani Soldiers Were not Responsible for Pack Mules in the Recent Campaign "Afghans traditionally abuse their mules." -anonymous Western officialThe mountainside rebel camp is lit with the cold light of the moon. It is not large: a few tents, a few dozen soldiers. They have been waiting for almost a week atop a mountain pass for the Red Army. The rebels have grown irritable. They were told they would receive intelligence on Russian movement when it became available, which would be very soon after they actually moved. They have heard nothing. They wonder if perhaps the war has ended and they have been forgotten about, or whether some oversight committee in the U.S.A. has cut off their supplies. In a makeshift stable, a young Afghani soldier dismounts from his mule and begins to clean his gun. He experiences an emotion he cannot identify. If he was a Westerner, he would immediately call it 'nostalgia.'"Mule," he begins, feeling passionate speech coming on, "we have had many adventures together. We have been through much. You are a loyal mule, and hard-working. We shared one beautiful night, which meant very much to me. I do not want you to think it meant nothing, because it did. You are so very beautiful, and I think if things were different, we might have something special. But there is this war, and I may be killed at any moment, and where would that leave you? Do not worry: I do not mind that you shit right now. It only augments your beauty. I could not have that on my conscience: that you may some day be bereaved. You see, mule? It is not you, it is me. This is why I must do what I do. I know you do not understand, but one day, you will. I tell you truly, this hurts me more than it hurts you. Good night, sweet prince."The young soldier shoots the mule, and for a horrible second, thinks he might do the same to himself. But then he hears something. A gunshot from a distant mountain. And then another, and another. But this is not the advancing of the Red Army. No, these are solitary shots, all echoing with agony. And then the soldier realizes how many of his comrades are in the same predicament as himself, and he feels better. As though he might make a habit of this sort of thing. Until he later hears the statement of a U.S. official: a high death rate of Afghan mules, from landmines and other attacks, has created a mule shortage in Afghanistan. It is then he decides he must emigrate.

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